Weddings, Partnerships and Christians

 

The Royal Wedding has come and gone. Many of us watched the pageantry on television – a few brave souls may even have joined the crowds who camped out so they could get a closer look at the happy couple. We “oohed” and “aahed” at Kate Middleton’s dress, rejoiced in the kisses on the Palace balcony and thrilled at the ceremonial fly-past. I am sure that even the most ardent republicans among us will want to wish William and Kate (or should that be “Catherine”?) a long and happy marriage.

 

Of course, the ideas that lie behind weddings have changed over the centuries. At one time marriage was largely the prerogative of the upper classes and performed exclusively by the Church, its chief aim being to create male heirs who would inherit a family’s property and maintain its position in society. Most of us would not conceive of matrimony in those terms today! A secular legislative framework for marriage was first created by Lord Hardwick’s Act of 1753 – and, even then, many poorer people continued to live in de facto relationships which were simply accepted by their neighbours.

 

And relationships themselves are changing: some of them are short-lived and provisional, while many couples decide not to get married at all, a decision which would have seemed scandalous 50 years ago. “Why do we need a piece of paper to prove our commitment to one another?” they say. Indeed, they may go further and declare that marriage would actually spoil their relationship – a statement which puzzles me whenever I hear it. To me, it seems both logical and sensible that commitment be declared through a legal contract. That document is not the enemy of love, but confirms and reinforces it.

 

The greatest change in recent years has surely been the introduction of Civil Partnerships between people of the same sex, often (and inaccurately) known as “Gay Marriages”. This development has been controversial: while its advocates regard it as a triumph for natural justice, others – especially within the churches and other communities of faith – consider it to be nothing less than the legalisation of sin. At present it is not permitted for Civil Partnerships to be solemnised within a religious building; however the Government is in the process of formulating legislation which will make this possible.

 

I believe that this is an issue which Christians need to discuss. For there are some who are happy with the contracting (or blessing) of Civil Partnerships: they believe that God has created people with their particular sexual orientations and that the Church should be ready to celebrate their commitment. They admire people who are prepared to make bold and risky promises in a society which has become wary of doing so. Indeed, these folk may go so far as to suggest that God’s Spirit has been “shedding new light on his Word” and that his people should listen to his voice.

 

But other Christians are far less comfortable, believing firmly that the Bible only sanctions marriage between a man and a woman. They would be very hesitant of upsetting the teaching of two millennia and suspect that recent Christian thinking on the issue has not been led by the Spirit at all, but driven by a secular agenda which centres on human rights and personal fulfilment. Indeed, they might feel that Christians should be upholding the tough righteousness demonstrated by Jesus when he told a woman to “go and sin no more”, even if this results in same-sex couples claiming that the Church is rejecting them.

 

Any Christian discussion on this matter involves both our understanding of Scripture and our consciences. It also challenges Christian unity, both within individual congregations and across the denominations. Indeed, the subject has often become a “touchstone” of Christian orthodoxy and has the potential of splitting the Church down the middle. Yet I don’t believe that Christians can bury their heads in the sand and hope that this issue will simply go away, for it won’t.

 

So I sincerely hope that Christians will engage in loving debate and constructive conversation. Even if they cannot end up with any form of consensus, they do need to set aside their prejudices and respectfully listen to others’ points of view. And perhaps, through our harmonious disagreement, the Holy Spirit’s gentle voice will be heard.